running a mental marathon
did u watch "deep blue sea"? i was *points up* running a marathon.
why r ppl so damn free to go n search on the Net for information on other ppl??!! what.. find out who gossip abt who got retained?! *glares* so free go n do sth more productive like working for a social wadever..i mean work as a social worker.
i like today's msg. i need to find my christian self again.
oh damn i need to go edit some posts. i dun wan d a a r e ppl to find this site. hahaa.
now my brother is 100% positive tt glazer will do united do. all i can say that is TIME WILL TELL. i have no opinions on this matter, all those expressed r reproduced from others.
last c_l_e lesson was on sex ed. our form tchr brought in her own stuff. it was suppose to be on STDs lar. she did that, den went on. the point abt STDs was to scare us not to have pre-marital sex. anywayy she went on abt r/s, y shld u do tt/. self esteem, . BUT she went to the basics. the foundation. why we go into that step. cos of physical contact. the lack of physical contact.
all beings yearn for physical contact. yet, teenagers often shrug off parents' attempts to touch the child. give a hug, kiss, hold the hands. why? cos it is deemed as 'uncool'. a view tt 'im all grown up, i dont need u now.' tt we dont need to depend on our parents anymore. i suppose there r kids teens tt can live by themselves, but majority of us still depend on our mom n dad for food. n i can juz go off my top for this point: "why u can fucking buy ur branded stuff is cos of the money u got from ur parents. unless u work n earn ur own cash, shut up abt thinking abt getting this nike bag, this wadever shit thing."
tt is for my bro really. oh n rvn FINALLY scored! 2-1 to southampton. ehh but they r going to get relagated. which is sad, cos they have been playing for 27 yrs in EPL. they went down alot. i wan to give up supporting footie. it is unrequited love. n i positively spelt tt wrongly.
i wan to give up supportin edison too. *roarrs* WHY COS OF MY F***ing brother!! COS HE JUZ HAS TO INSTIGATE ANGER INTO ME. COMPARING JAY WITH EDISON. WAD IS HIS PROBLEM? I WANT TO TEAR INTO HIS FLESH, PULL HIS HAIR, SCRAPE THE SKIN OFF, DUG MY NAILS INTO HIS BODYY.
edison is successful. fulstop. happy? i dunno. whether he is using his looks, or real talent to be successful. he is still successful rite? he has been approached to film a jap movie. if he has only the looks, he can only be in the scene for a short period of time. how could he have survived so long w/o proper talents? even if he has help in producing his CDs. which the recent 2 he has written himself, how many MORE SUCCESSFUL MORE FAMOUS SINGERS N CELEBS OUT THERE are created by others? his voice is not tt nice too. and jay? fine, he writes his own songs, composes too. his voice is not tt clear too rite? there is that grp of singers who writes n composes their own songs, but compare with the other singers who r created? whose voices give support to the lyrics n tunes that was the hard work of others. and who is remembered? the composer? no. the singer. dick lee is famous, but do ppl noe him? no. cos he writes songs, composes songs too.
ok tt string of words there has no relation to wad i wanted to sayy earlier in the para. anyway, edison yes. he's infringing on my values. so much tt im willing to change my stance on them. i jump into this cos i created him to be my idol. so i am supporting sth. otherwise im leading this doing-nothing life. gt nth to do otherwise. i cant stand the '-' stuff abt him. it used to be like, i like fighting for his cause. and the fact tt canto is not 'hot' in sg. but it's like....
man utd won. n den it's sad seeing southampton. they have to be relegated. n the last time they were, it was 31 years ago. some fans were not even born then. will these fans still stand strong to their club? SEE! u dont support a club becos of how well it is doing. same applies for other celebs. LOOK AT WEST BROM. they r safe from relegation. the entire field was swept with fans. the fans were flocking the guy who scored. kissing him, hugging him. (although i pity tt guyy haha) they are happy that their club is safe. they dont support their club cos it is the best, it has extremely gd players. no! why cant ppl open their eyes?!
oh yah, my tchr was toking abt communication. technology is killing communication. the fact tt we talk each other thru a computer, thru sms. or worse, talk to a computer. killing the use of voice to talk. turning ppl to blog.
im still feeling sad. from ytd. dont know why. what have i missed? missed the disintergration of a bond? does it even exist? we have moved apart so much, it is no longer.. it can only be a memory. stating tt u wan to repair it is cos u want tt memory to stay. if it gets repaired, how long can it remain? will it be forever? even when we go on to diff lives, diff routes.
at least it's not just me. i take comfort in that. how many of us will be still together? it had been sth i treasured, held on. so much tt when i woke up, i realised tt the strings had long been decomposed, cut, burnt, used for sth else. left? passing names, passing faces, passing images. no i dont want tt. but wad can i do? wad can we do? we cant be stuck in the past, can we? but does tt mean dumping this part of life tt has defined us? y cant we keep it? y cant we.
to the realisation tt wad had kept me was non-existent. i feel... i really dont know. to wad, am i the only freak tt is so affected by sth has been thrown back into brains of others..far far awayy.
im nt denying tt ive lived a life of denial for 1 n a half years now. i had nvr moved on. i had been stuck in the past. tt is why i wanted to hang on to tt guy who played no part in my life. i realise the importance of another memory. it wld shake me off the grasp of it. n no it didnt, i played wif fire. n i end up hurtin myself, not known to the guy whom i hurt in the beginning. or did i ever hurt him? i dun even wan to go into tt.
i woke up. i didnt want to. i tried to fall asleep. but i couldnt dream anymore. i got nightmares instead.
i broke down this yr, now i cant rmb when. i blamed it on stress. it worked out pretty well, end up i blame everything on stress. making myself so stressed, my brain is in denial im in stress.
i really want to pull myself out. but i dun want to leave it behind.
why do ppl keep looking back at the past and holding on to it?
spurnami-
amanda
061289
taOnan-iTe
cHung cheNg hIgh
[[ onerespect 02 \\ tworespect 03 ]]
rgs
305 '04
405 '05
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New wand!
Lockart's new spell book
Murder the potions master
New broom
Get into the school's qudditch team
shippers \\
- ron and hermione
- draco and harry
fan-dom \\
- tom felton
| potter is going to the potty |
running a mental marathon
did u watch "deep blue sea"? i was *points up* running a marathon.
why r ppl so damn free to go n search on the Net for information on other ppl??!! what.. find out who gossip abt who got retained?! *glares* so free go n do sth more productive like working for a social wadever..i mean work as a social worker.
i like today's msg. i need to find my christian self again.
oh damn i need to go edit some posts. i dun wan d a a r e ppl to find this site. hahaa.
now my brother is 100% positive tt glazer will do united do. all i can say that is TIME WILL TELL. i have no opinions on this matter, all those expressed r reproduced from others.
last c_l_e lesson was on sex ed. our form tchr brought in her own stuff. it was suppose to be on STDs lar. she did that, den went on. the point abt STDs was to scare us not to have pre-marital sex. anywayy she went on abt r/s, y shld u do tt/. self esteem, . BUT she went to the basics. the foundation. why we go into that step. cos of physical contact. the lack of physical contact.
all beings yearn for physical contact. yet, teenagers often shrug off parents' attempts to touch the child. give a hug, kiss, hold the hands. why? cos it is deemed as 'uncool'. a view tt 'im all grown up, i dont need u now.' tt we dont need to depend on our parents anymore. i suppose there r kids teens tt can live by themselves, but majority of us still depend on our mom n dad for food. n i can juz go off my top for this point: "why u can fucking buy ur branded stuff is cos of the money u got from ur parents. unless u work n earn ur own cash, shut up abt thinking abt getting this nike bag, this wadever shit thing."
tt is for my bro really. oh n rvn FINALLY scored! 2-1 to southampton. ehh but they r going to get relagated. which is sad, cos they have been playing for 27 yrs in EPL. they went down alot. i wan to give up supporting footie. it is unrequited love. n i positively spelt tt wrongly.
i wan to give up supportin edison too. *roarrs* WHY COS OF MY F***ing brother!! COS HE JUZ HAS TO INSTIGATE ANGER INTO ME. COMPARING JAY WITH EDISON. WAD IS HIS PROBLEM? I WANT TO TEAR INTO HIS FLESH, PULL HIS HAIR, SCRAPE THE SKIN OFF, DUG MY NAILS INTO HIS BODYY.
edison is successful. fulstop. happy? i dunno. whether he is using his looks, or real talent to be successful. he is still successful rite? he has been approached to film a jap movie. if he has only the looks, he can only be in the scene for a short period of time. how could he have survived so long w/o proper talents? even if he has help in producing his CDs. which the recent 2 he has written himself, how many MORE SUCCESSFUL MORE FAMOUS SINGERS N CELEBS OUT THERE are created by others? his voice is not tt nice too. and jay? fine, he writes his own songs, composes too. his voice is not tt clear too rite? there is that grp of singers who writes n composes their own songs, but compare with the other singers who r created? whose voices give support to the lyrics n tunes that was the hard work of others. and who is remembered? the composer? no. the singer. dick lee is famous, but do ppl noe him? no. cos he writes songs, composes songs too.
ok tt string of words there has no relation to wad i wanted to sayy earlier in the para. anyway, edison yes. he's infringing on my values. so much tt im willing to change my stance on them. i jump into this cos i created him to be my idol. so i am supporting sth. otherwise im leading this doing-nothing life. gt nth to do otherwise. i cant stand the '-' stuff abt him. it used to be like, i like fighting for his cause. and the fact tt canto is not 'hot' in sg. but it's like....
man utd won. n den it's sad seeing southampton. they have to be relegated. n the last time they were, it was 31 years ago. some fans were not even born then. will these fans still stand strong to their club? SEE! u dont support a club becos of how well it is doing. same applies for other celebs. LOOK AT WEST BROM. they r safe from relegation. the entire field was swept with fans. the fans were flocking the guy who scored. kissing him, hugging him. (although i pity tt guyy haha) they are happy that their club is safe. they dont support their club cos it is the best, it has extremely gd players. no! why cant ppl open their eyes?!
oh yah, my tchr was toking abt communication. technology is killing communication. the fact tt we talk each other thru a computer, thru sms. or worse, talk to a computer. killing the use of voice to talk. turning ppl to blog.
im still feeling sad. from ytd. dont know why. what have i missed? missed the disintergration of a bond? does it even exist? we have moved apart so much, it is no longer.. it can only be a memory. stating tt u wan to repair it is cos u want tt memory to stay. if it gets repaired, how long can it remain? will it be forever? even when we go on to diff lives, diff routes.
at least it's not just me. i take comfort in that. how many of us will be still together? it had been sth i treasured, held on. so much tt when i woke up, i realised tt the strings had long been decomposed, cut, burnt, used for sth else. left? passing names, passing faces, passing images. no i dont want tt. but wad can i do? wad can we do? we cant be stuck in the past, can we? but does tt mean dumping this part of life tt has defined us? y cant we keep it? y cant we.
to the realisation tt wad had kept me was non-existent. i feel... i really dont know. to wad, am i the only freak tt is so affected by sth has been thrown back into brains of others..far far awayy.
im nt denying tt ive lived a life of denial for 1 n a half years now. i had nvr moved on. i had been stuck in the past. tt is why i wanted to hang on to tt guy who played no part in my life. i realise the importance of another memory. it wld shake me off the grasp of it. n no it didnt, i played wif fire. n i end up hurtin myself, not known to the guy whom i hurt in the beginning. or did i ever hurt him? i dun even wan to go into tt.
i woke up. i didnt want to. i tried to fall asleep. but i couldnt dream anymore. i got nightmares instead.
i broke down this yr, now i cant rmb when. i blamed it on stress. it worked out pretty well, end up i blame everything on stress. making myself so stressed, my brain is in denial im in stress.
i really want to pull myself out. but i dun want to leave it behind.
why do ppl keep looking back at the past and holding on to it?
spurnami-